life @ ktph...

now beginning to wk day n nite shift... my body clock go haywire sia.. but gd ting im able to adapt fast.. cos i can slp late or wk up early.. tho v tired la.. hehe.. den nw i quite like measuring head le.. tho sumtimes abit e blur, i still like e overall lo.. everytime aft a head is done, i will feel a sense of accomplishment.. heex..

then i hv a duper good senior whose name is meiling.. v v nice person.. heex.. bt im nt under her la.. onli learnt EEG fr her.. hehe.. =) shes my 'baby' for nw.. muahaha... she gt 3 duper cute children.. like her 2nd daughter a lot.. sooo cute.. heex.. shes 5 tis yr.. hehe..

another colleague is jacey.. tt one ahh.. face look so fierce... oways abuse me de.. hahaha... bt ok la.. oso v nice person... came in a mth earlier than me.. bt much younger than me.. =( lol...sui ye bu liu ren ahh~~ so excited.. coming week gona wk nite w her liao...

den oso gt my ah tao n another philippine colleague.. they both oso ok la... nt bad... hahaha... hmm... this coming mon gt another new girl joining us le.. bt she will b my baby's girl.. heheehe... wonder hw she look like sia.. so exciting.. =D bt i wun gt to c her until nxt nxt wk... haiyo... sooo long... ahhaha... =)

bt tis hos v enthu sia.. muz go run n jog to kp fit, muz hv book reviews... staffs muz go present.. i tot in workin world esp my tis kinda job dn nit to present le.. who noes???!!!! ahahahaha...dn ask me present i do cow do horse oso can la.. hahaha... end of yr still gt fitness test.. i tot poly will end tis napfa test... who noes... hahaha.. rubber band, attire etc feel like im still in sch sia.. lol.. In terms of pay, im quite contented la.. cos pay adjustment etc.. so yep yep... pay much much better than previous job de... even nite shift allowance oso went up... nt bad uhh~~ hehehe...

eend of intro part 1 ba... nw gona go do analysing liao... nitex da jia~~ =)

emotional 1st mth...

recently got a new job.. idk wat to feel.. just felt soooo lost thr... duno is cos im still new thr or wat...like sooo alienated... deep inside, i felt reli unhappy n lonely... bt come to tink abt it, if hospi nv hire me, n im still at wintertime, still sian cos most prob im still at MBS... aiya... duno la... probably is lidat ba... tis is work life... the onli ting left is the ppl thr... i felt sooo happy seeing them... c my 2-3 loveloves thr... felt overjoyed.. esp when thrs sth for me to look fwd to aft wk.. for nw, still ok la.. bt once peak period, they wud b sooo bz... den i oso cant go find them like now.. sumtimes i gt the idea of secretly workin thr during peak period... mayb cos i used to bz bz.. mayb jz wana wk tog w them again... mayb jz nt used to the overly free life.. i hated the lonely empty feeling.. reli dreaded it.. bt wat can i do?? can onli go find frens to relieve tt feel.. sooo miserable rite... like sooo despo to hv that feel being filled up..doubt many hv tt same kinda feel as i does.. cos they r all surrounded by ppl.. by besties, bf or gf, relatives, siblings or family.. haix...emo emo...

tink e lonely me gona celebrate my lonely bday alone tis yr... mayb i shld nt tk leave on tt day... cos i dn wana go round begging ppl to acc me go out etc.. aiya... still long... shall c hw la... hahaha..

last bt nt least, i hope tt my lovelies will oways b happy, xing fu, healthy n well... i noe all of them seldom or nv come my bloggie de... bt still... i jz wana sae i will be avail for all of u 24/7.. if u nit my companionship, nit any help... feel free to approach me k.. i dn mind being e spare tyre.. like when u all cant find any1, can find me k... even if in future i hv my own fam(hopefully i will have la), u all will still be my precious de loveloves... muackz... =D

reflection n happenings for e mth of may... lol

recently aft wk ar...i c tis auntie... she used her own $$ to buy lotsa meow meow food n feed the meows dnstair... hmm... tis auntie soo kind sia... i dn tink i will lidat one lor... aiyo... everyday w/o fail sia... n u will c her walk here n thr finding n feeding cats.. tt was aft wk at abt 1145+... den today ahhh...i came hm abt 8+ den i saw her feeding a kitten wor... wa... den is 1 pack of food.. so nice of her sia... hahaha... in tis world oso gt sucha nice person... hehe



anw... my nanny is back hm aft few days of hospitalisation.. heng ahh... onli acute cystitis, gross hematuria n UTI... shes bk bt she still nit to hv e catheter on her to monitor her urine... bt sooo clear le... no longer e bloody urine..so happy...n she look healthier le...



recently worked at MBS... is reli v SIAN one lor... no ppl... long hrs(tho hrs e same as other outlets, onli tt gt shift) den soooo far away fr teng n nana... walao.. boring dao~~ miss them dao~~then no music... damn boring.. sum more e shift sucks... esp e nite shift... sian... until 11pm.. lethargic sia... den worse is when u conseq 3 days wk fr 1230-11,den e nxt 3 conseq days is wk fr 10-830.. v v tiring lor!!! off day onli 1 wk once.. worse.. onli gt insects accompany u... v v bad backache...v slpy n tired... haix.... den limited transportation... so sian...



bt itz ok... cos my last day is on 25th... HAHA... aft tt gona go wk at a hospital le.... bt for e time being, still hafta start trainin at AH man... hopefully i can excel in tt job... hahaha... bt i will definitely mis teng they all de... =( pls do kp in contact ok... i dn wan like drifting apart... cos i tink itz happening btn all my frens... in sec, lost contact w pri frens.. in poly, lose contact w sec frens.. nw wkg, lose contact w poly frens.. mayb shld sae rarely... even w ah dar oso.. haix.. i noe we all bz, bt i hp we all wud be able to mit at least once a mth or sth... pls pls... hahahas....

muahaha..ytd went to sign my contract w a hospital.. so hapi n so sad..hapi cos I gt a job w higher pay n more relevant w my course of studies...(tho nt v relevant) hehe..sad cos I gona miss ah teng they all..afterall,I witnessed my 'son' birth till nw..tog w his 2 main mummies.. gg to another plc to witness e birth of another son..wahaha.. n e worst ting of all is tt I can't even wk in sc for my remaining days~ haix.. sianz :-(


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my ren sheng da shi...lol

recently kp niaming abt work... then today we were complaining abt long wking hrs, low pay n benefits.. hehe... den aiyo...i sudd realise hor..im reli wasting my time n youth sia... lol.. low pay... no social life... den die liao.. wait cant marry out how?? hahaha... start to worry.. heex... tink hor.. muz go find a matchmaking centre liao... lol.. go find a cheaper one..lol.. e person gd jiu hao le.. muahahaha.. n gt enuf $$ to yang me.. wahahahaha... scary lei..im so old liao...yet... yet... aiyo... hw man?

post fr yr auntie junie... lol

hmm...wa...困难一直冲着你来，但放心啦~一切一定会顺顺利利的！我会一直帮你祈祷祈祷祈祷着的，最爱的朋友！哈哈... don't worry la... dn kp tinking of e unhappy stuff...wateva u hv,jz enjoy.... dn brood on it ya..?? cos brooding on it will dampen yr mood nia.. =) hmm...in e meantime, pls do tk gd care ya... dn let yr flu bring u dn... slp n rest early n more... den will fast fast recover... den can enjoy yr trip lotsa ma rite... can look 4ward to big big bb tea, nice food, nice shoppings n sceneries, nice SHOWs, n nt forgetting, getting lotsa nice stuff for junie la~ wahahaha.. =p hmm... ehh... kuku ''妹妹''ar...dn b kuku kuku ar~cos e kuku title onli belongs to junie ar... waahahaha... muz b happy n cheerful ar... lidat mood better, den everyting will be better as well ar... good tings will definitely come to u ya..!! heex... if gt chance, mit me at dreamz.com cos thr gt me ar... whr u can throw all yr angrys, unhappys, bad lucks, and claim all yr harpi, cheers, good lucks and 顺利fr thr de.. n ohya... rem to throw all yr germs thr as well ar.. kp yrself healthy ohh~ drink more water, even when yr thr ar..知道吗？要听阿姨junie的肺腑之言哦！！！ huggies!! =) tink tis abandoned bloggie wun b seen, bt still, 希望u will ‘收到' 哦!! hehehe...

Hopes

I hope tt nana stuff will b smooth n nicee.. Everyting will move to e bright side.. N tt everyting will b ok for her.. Hehe.. Jz let all e suay ting happen to me la..since I'm alr so suay... Lol... It doesn't matter more or less.. Best is suay until my life can b taken, cos I dn hv hope n will to live on further..take my life by all means, bt on a request tt all their suay bad tings fall on me n all e gd tings happen to nana,dar n all my other besties la... :-D pls let my tis hope come true~

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sad....

i reli duno wat to do?reli am at a loss... i wana save up to settle my debts... i wana save up to pay all my debts... sumtimes these r driving me crazy... my allowances debts,exam fees etc... secondary sch debts... even c doc oso nit to borrow fr others... den it amts up to a lump sum.. previously sae will help me pay them bk.. cos afterall tis kinda tings is parents pay de.. bt they pi gu sao sao left a sum here.. den over thr, cos they refused to pay for my spects, nanny niece lent me $ to buy them...den misc stuffs oso nanny niece pay for me.. all in my lower secondary years.. den wat happen? im left to pay another sum here... nvm.. they initially scolded me.. refused to let me study poly... cos SHE she bu de spend her $$ on me...i tried n find ways to pay sch fees.. in e end came to noe CPF can pay..in future den pay bk... nw i hv another sum to pay.. den come to gg aussie study... borrowed fr eddie kor a lump sum of $$ to study... dad sister oso lent us... these sum of $$ my dad sae will settle w me...share e load.. wat crap...!!! they borrow n borrow fr everywhr.... den wat hv they done?? they pi gu sao sao den jz drop e whole lump sum of $$ owed on me.. den i hv to pay.. do any of yr noe tt jz tinkg of e sum i hafta pay reli stressed me???

den came a dad who kp tinkg unrealisticly... stock n stock..forex n forex.... bt whr is e money?? dn u tink tt wkg is more realistic den idling at hm??? den came a mum hu is sucha gambler...so addicted to gambling... both of them instead of helping me tink of ways to clear my debts,they actu increase my debts..WT..!!! borrowed fr here n thr... n even borrowed sooooo much fr me!!! im reli reli scare they will be like last time, pi gu sao sao jiu zou... den im reli dead...

tinkg of e debts i hv alr made me soooo depressed... having sucha money grubber parents made me more depressed... i feel sooo xin ku... i feel so beng kui... i feel so tired... i dn wana b soo debt-ridden... n do u noe e stress my fam is giving me?? my aunt n uncle kp telling me abt e $$ my parents owed them... u noe... im all alone... when i feel so pc tt time,who can i tell?? cant tell any1.. everytime when i tink of e $,i reli get v v depressed.. i wud cry...

when im soo upset, i reli gt e impulsiveness to kill myself... jump off a building, poison myself, cut myself or let myself b knocked dn.. bt... i realised im a coward... serious... when i imagine i wana jump, i dn tink i hv e courage to do sooo... omg!!! sooo qiao bu qi wo zi ji sia!!

haix... how?? i feel soooo alone... wana find sum1 to talk to, bt i duno wat to sae.. bt i hate being alone...cos alone e stress is more...e stress is thr... sooo stressful... bt no matter hw, i feel soo alone... im oways trying to let all nt feel alone yet im oways being left alone in e end... =( emoooo... tell u... i reli hated tis kinda feeling... i can be alone bt i dn wana be alone.... i oways envy ppl who is nt alone... they oways at least hv sum1 to b w them.. bt i dn... i dread being alone..bt im oways being left alone in e end... ='( hope tis feel will go off asap......

felt better writing it out.... heex.... felt bettter aft crying... felt happier cos nana called me... heex.. gan dong gan dong... bt when i wana sae sth, tears welled my eyes.. den in e end i dn wana sae anyting... wahaha.. bt im reli hapi for nana's care... thanks nana... muackz!! =) n thks sheryl jiejie for yr concern... hmm...thks my dardar too!! =)

lastly,i wana go holiday!!!managed to ask von go during May bt nw no promo... hw sia??? =(

Sad n sian

Haix..so upsetting..dn understand y I hv such parents...kp borrowin fr me..worse of all,e Amt kp increasing...n hv nv tot of returning...wat the ****!!! I hated using vulgarities..bt nw I reli feel like using!!damn!!irritating!!!I hate them I hate them I hate them!!!!!!!!!!! =(

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啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！！我要出国，我要出国，我要出国！！！！！！ 带我出国，陪我出国啦~ 哈哈哈哈哈哈！！好想出国咯！！！ =）

hmm..i duno isit cos im a virgo,den virgo tends to treat ppl call 'friends' so impt until sumtimes others may tink im in luv w them..bt im nt!!i may appear to b soooo gd to u all,bt i definitely dn hv e wai thots..nt at all!!!i oso duno isit jz me being sensitive or wat la... i hv learnt to become more appreciative cos i noe ppl nit lotsa appreciations fr frens n fam.. i dn hv those,so i wana gif those.. bt sumtimes im so scare tt being lidat may caused me to lose frens... i dn hv a hapi family,bt i reli hope to hv at least gd frens... hmmm....

i simply love being gd to my close frens...being v v gd... like wateva u wan,if within my means, i will get it for u...like when i c u nit tis,bt u nv sae u nit,i will still wan to get it for u... these actions to sum may tink tt tis kinda tings is onli done by lover.. yes!!i luv my frens...so much tt in e past,i fang qi ai qing cos of a classmate..so much until my mum whack me till i bleed cos of them..

initially dar mentioned tt she dn believe im sooo gd to her for no reason...im sure she believed i hv ulterior motives..hahahaha...bt i tink tt im one who is determined to do my v v v best for ppl whom i tink is worth being my close frens...

when i heard tt tis sum1 is 1 hu is oways being left out,even when they hv bffs, i jz wana teng e person sooo much...i wan them to noe tt dn wori,even if yr bffs nv zhong shi u,i will zhong shi u a lot de..so i wana gif all e tengs i hv to them n let them feel loved...even if they dn treat me as close frens...or as frens..i dn mind... i did all this cos i wan them to be v hapi,i dn wan them to feel like hw i feel in e past.. so alone...when i c wat my bffs nit,i will try get for them..when i noe wat my bffs love to eat,i will gt tt for them...n i will oways care for them...i wan them to feel loved.. bt sumtimes i admit i abit too naggy..lol...

when i noe wat my bffs wan,i reli wana gt those stuffs for them..bt in e end i wun gt,cos they will scold me stupid n stuff,or they will sae tt onli ai ren will do tis kinda tings..bt i hope tt no matter wat i do,they will nv tink tt i treat them well cos im in luv w them..cos tis is sth i HATE... perhaps cos u all r nt me,so u will nv noe hw much i zhong shi my frens...

u noe,in all e frens i zhong shi b4,or even zhong shi nw de,onli dardar is e one who noes me well... den when im pc and dn bother abt her tt much,she is affected by me nt bothering her...at least she cares when i ignore her.. among my frens,onli tt sha gua will tink tis way..sum cant be bothered.. or mayb cos they took my love,teng n care for them for granted.. or mayb is jz tt im too sensitive..

bt recently i felt tt i cud nt fit into any of my fren de picture...like im nt inclusive in their life... i feel so alone... so scary...reli hope one day sum1 will let me in... hahahahaha... hmmm... *sigh*