i reli duno wat to do?reli am at a loss... i wana save up to settle my debts... i wana save up to pay all my debts... sumtimes these r driving me crazy... my allowances debts,exam fees etc... secondary sch debts... even c doc oso nit to borrow fr others... den it amts up to a lump sum.. previously sae will help me pay them bk.. cos afterall tis kinda tings is parents pay de.. bt they pi gu sao sao left a sum here.. den over thr, cos they refused to pay for my spects, nanny niece lent me $ to buy them...den misc stuffs oso nanny niece pay for me.. all in my lower secondary years.. den wat happen? im left to pay another sum here... nvm.. they initially scolded me.. refused to let me study poly... cos SHE she bu de spend her $$ on me...i tried n find ways to pay sch fees.. in e end came to noe CPF can pay..in future den pay bk... nw i hv another sum to pay.. den come to gg aussie study... borrowed fr eddie kor a lump sum of $$ to study... dad sister oso lent us... these sum of $$ my dad sae will settle w me...share e load.. wat crap...!!! they borrow n borrow fr everywhr.... den wat hv they done?? they pi gu sao sao den jz drop e whole lump sum of $$ owed on me.. den i hv to pay.. do any of yr noe tt jz tinkg of e sum i hafta pay reli stressed me???
den came a dad who kp tinkg unrealisticly... stock n stock..forex n forex.... bt whr is e money?? dn u tink tt wkg is more realistic den idling at hm??? den came a mum hu is sucha gambler...so addicted to gambling... both of them instead of helping me tink of ways to clear my debts,they actu increase my debts..WT..!!! borrowed fr here n thr... n even borrowed sooooo much fr me!!! im reli reli scare they will be like last time, pi gu sao sao jiu zou... den im reli dead...
tinkg of e debts i hv alr made me soooo depressed... having sucha money grubber parents made me more depressed... i feel sooo xin ku... i feel so beng kui... i feel so tired... i dn wana b soo debt-ridden... n do u noe e stress my fam is giving me?? my aunt n uncle kp telling me abt e $$ my parents owed them... u noe... im all alone... when i feel so pc tt time,who can i tell?? cant tell any1.. everytime when i tink of e $,i reli get v v depressed.. i wud cry...
when im soo upset, i reli gt e impulsiveness to kill myself... jump off a building, poison myself, cut myself or let myself b knocked dn.. bt... i realised im a coward... serious... when i imagine i wana jump, i dn tink i hv e courage to do sooo... omg!!! sooo qiao bu qi wo zi ji sia!!
haix... how?? i feel soooo alone... wana find sum1 to talk to, bt i duno wat to sae.. bt i hate being alone...cos alone e stress is more...e stress is thr... sooo stressful... bt no matter hw, i feel soo alone... im oways trying to let all nt feel alone yet im oways being left alone in e end... =( emoooo... tell u... i reli hated tis kinda feeling... i can be alone bt i dn wana be alone.... i oways envy ppl who is nt alone... they oways at least hv sum1 to b w them.. bt i dn... i dread being alone..bt im oways being left alone in e end... ='( hope tis feel will go off asap......
felt better writing it out.... heex.... felt bettter aft crying... felt happier cos nana called me... heex.. gan dong gan dong... bt when i wana sae sth, tears welled my eyes.. den in e end i dn wana sae anyting... wahaha.. bt im reli hapi for nana's care... thanks nana... muackz!! =) n thks sheryl jiejie for yr concern... hmm...thks my dardar too!! =)
lastly,i wana go holiday!!!managed to ask von go during May bt nw no promo... hw sia??? =(
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