SAD SAD SAD and SAD...

another day of wk...but itz a SAD SAD SAD day...got scolded like SHIT by HER!reli reli hate her...i duno wat i hv done in the past to deserve sucha present life...but im reli touched by my colleagues...they r all good ppl...all my angels...my good good frens...when im sad,they consoled me..other than bren bren,no1 eva been so good to me...reli thx assca,jia ying n ting ting...love u all loads..HAHAHA..im oways tryin to cover my sadness,trouble with laughter..bt today i reli cant ctrl..i dn wan my frens to worry for me..so no matter hw sad im,hw depress im,i wud TRY cover it la..bt apparently,i cudn't...duno wat to do lor...

emotionally...i reli dn wana leave...financially,$$ is a big issue wor...BUT im forced to go back aussie...cos of her FACE...haix..why on earth i hv such parents...ppl at work dn understand me...i do hv hidden truth abt my fam..bt so wat...such tings isnt very gd to share in here ba...hmm...

i hafta appear happy in front of my colleagues...i dn wan them to wori for me...bt itz so hard to hide...im 1 hu cant reli hide my expressions de...hw?i dn wana b thr alone...so lonely..no1 understands hw i feel...been cryin everyday...tears kp welling my eyes each time i tot of it...cant bear to leave...n worse of all when i tot of wat SHE tell me..im alr 22...why i still dn hv the courage to oppose her???why???i hate myself...hurt myself cos i hated myself...at times i do hv suicidal tots..

since abt 3 yrs old..u noe...every single tings done on me...i rem clearly...ppl may find it ridiculous bt true...i hurt myself once n again cos i hated myself...she reli made me hate myself more..she MOULD me into sum1 w depressions...to sum1 hu eva took depression medicine b4...to sum1 with NO HAPI childhood...no HAPI days..i reli envy ppl w doting parents..sum tho w/o doting parents,hv doting siblings..tts y i substitute my frens as my fam members..sum mk use of me etc..i dn mind..cos i jz wish for a happier life...

i miss HIM...but...haix.....i reli wan to c THEM,n HIM...i muz revert back to the hapi me again...i hv 2 days to settle myself in PP,then sat when i returned,i muz b a hapi hapi ger again..JUNIE..u can do it de...u noe...actualli aft i came bk,then i realised tt i treasure every single fren i hv..in the past,i hv bren,xuan,von,boo etc...nw...i hv few more,like ting ting,peilin etc..they may nt treat me as their besties,bt i jz wana let them noe tt i treat them as my besties...n i wun fail to treat every besties i hv wholeheartedly..my besties=my fam..i LOVE u all..i wun mind if u mk use of me etc..i reli dn wana leave...reli dn wana leave..HOW??=( crying bitterly...